Story Time! (Stalking Authors)

Hellloo! This is Laurena with a new post! (What took you so long?)

This initiative is dedicated to Tara, who probably became a die-hard fan of our blog… most likely because she recommended Fullmetal Alchemist to me and I loved it… But her advice and help are invaluable right now and I don’t know what I would be doing if she wasn’t spamming my phone with texts…

If not for her, I would be reading FMA right now… (Wait…)

But, funny stories…

Do you guys remember how obsessed I am with Sarah J. Maas? Well, I was at a restaurant that shall not be named, happily eating my really spicy tacos that weren’t that spicy in the description, and someone walked in.

She was a blonde lady of medium height, who looked far too much like the lady in this photo:

Sooooo. Let’s play a game! It’s called what did Laurena do next?

Round one!

Did she…

1. Ignore her
2. Scream and run up to her
3. Start breathing heavily and pulled out Heir of Fire which was in her bag…
4. Or choke on the tacos.

And answer three is correct!

But I did do 2-4 at some point…

But I pulled out HoF and discovered that it didn’t have a photo of SJM in it so I pulled out my phone and enlisted my mum and grandma to start researching Sarah J. Maas’ face.

And when we could find any outstanding differences, we started looking up Josh. (Sarah’s husband) The male next to her was similar but not close enough to be SJM’s husband but it could’ve been her editor or her father (??) or her brother or some who may have been having dinner in Australia… (I don’t even know anymore!)

So, mum did what I was too cowardly to do, (and what we should have done in the first place as I suspect that walking until we were directly in front of the table that SJM (the doppelganger) was sitting at, pretending to admire the view that was blocked by a wall! The patrons must have been getting suspicious…) but my mother walked up to their table and asked if she was SJM while I hid under a table and texted Claudia about my plight.

It wasn’t Sarah, but she was American, from America and HER NAME WAS SARAH! (Laurena, Sarah is a common name. Don’t get ahead of yourself and start predicting voodoo… Shut up brain!)

However, the highlight of my night was dad saying that if she was SJM, he would drive the 40 minutes back home and grab all of my SJM books… so she could sign them while I bowed at her feet!

And then I got my response from Claudia:

Oh my god. That is actually hilarious. 😂

Stalkerish Tale #2!

Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff. Co-authors of Illuminae.

Admittedly, this story isn’t as great, but it still shows my creepy stalker skills!

We wanted to go on holiday to escape the heat wave that was NSW… so mum suggested Melbourne!

And who lives in Melbourne you may ask. THE ONE AND ONLY… THE ULTIMATE WRITING TEAM… JAY KRISTOFF AND AMIE KAUFMAN! (See above for pictures)

And judging by what happened in the last tale, what do you think I did?

No, Ally, I didn’t go and learn to hack! I would never do that…

I just went to pack.

And look up flight tickets.

And pull open Illuminae to stare at Amie and Jay until I think the holes that I bore into the picture made a hole appear on both their foreheads…

And fangirl.

And reread.

And… then we didn’t go.

My holiday was ruined.

No Sarah J. Maas. No Amie Kaufman. No Jay Kristoff.

Signing off in tears due to the fact I just had to resee (??) those memories,

Laurena

(Now going by La because Laurena is so long…)